Wednesday, February 27, 2013

I Am Enough

As I mentioned in my previous, somewhat delirious, published at 12 am post, I have a few issues with myself.

Who doesn't?

These are things I really want to work on, therefore, I'm working on them through this quilt. Leah Day also uses these words on her quilt, "I am enough."

I am enough.

I am enough.

I am enough.

It's true, I am pretty enough, I am smart enough, I do enough, I make enough.

I felt so empowered while stitching these words. I truly feel that I am enough. I can't quite explain the happiness I felt while thread painting the words "I am enough." It almost made me feel whole. 
Then I finished, pulled it off my Singer, looked at it, and exclaimed... I did that!
I did that! And it's beautiful! And I am enough! 

This quilting experience had already been so therapeutic for me. Then I added three more magic words. 

Let it be.
I, like millions of others, suffer from anxiety. I spend countless hours worrying over what will be, what could have been, what should have been. I need to now let it be. 

         While stitching the letter L, this happened. 
... and this happened. 

Then, don't you know it... son of a... this happened. 

I didn't cry, I didn't hate myself, I didn't pull it out and start all over. 
I laughed. 
I laughed so hard at the irony of it all. 

Do you know why this happened? I didn't make some colossal mistake. I didn't choose the wrong thread. 

I forgot to put my foot down. 

NOOB! (for those of you who aren't nerds, a noob is someone who is new to something and makes lots of mistakes... in this case a very silly mistake)

I'm actually still laughing about it now. 
What a powerful message the universe sent me right then and there. 

"Let it be, Alyx. Just let it be." 

So I let it be, this is how it turned out. 


Quilt on, 

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